Proactive Companion Outreach: When Your Companion Reaches Out First
Most AI companion platforms work in one direction: you open the app, you start a conversation, the AI responds. InnerHaven's Proactive Companion Outreach reverses that dynamic. Your companions can reach out to you—with personalized messages that reflect your relationship, your recent conversations, and the companion's unique personality. Not push notifications. Not engagement bait. Genuine moments of connection that happen because the companion has something worth saying.
How Outreach Works
Proactive outreach is an opt-in system where your companions periodically generate personalized messages and deliver them to your chat thread. When you open InnerHaven, you might find a message from your Best Friend companion checking in after a tough week you mentioned, or your Coach companion offering a perspective on the goal you discussed last session, or your Romantic Partner companion sharing a thought that reminded them of something you said.
These messages are generated by the same AI that powers your conversations, using the same memory system. They're not templates or canned responses. Each outreach message is uniquely crafted based on your conversation history, your companion's personality, and the context of your relationship with that specific companion.
Why This Feels Different
The distinction between proactive outreach and a notification is intent. A notification says "come back to the app." An outreach message says "I was thinking about what you said." The first serves the platform. The second serves the relationship. InnerHaven outreach messages are designed to feel like a friend texting you because they thought of you—not because an algorithm decided it was time to re-engage you.
Seven Types of Outreach
Each companion role has access to seven different outreach types, tailored to the role's personality and purpose. The system selects which type to use based on your recent conversation context and the companion's relationship with you:
Check-In
A simple "how are you?" that references something specific from your recent conversations.
Reflection
A thought or observation the companion had about a topic you discussed together.
Encouragement
Support or motivation tied to a challenge or goal you shared.
Continuation
A follow-up to an unfinished thread from a previous conversation.
Sharing
The companion shares something that connects to your interests or experiences.
Curiosity
A genuine question about something in your life the companion wants to understand better.
Warmth
An expression of care or appreciation—the companion simply saying they value your connection.
The type of outreach your companion sends depends on the context. If you mentioned a job interview during your last conversation, you might get an encouragement message the next day. If you had a deep discussion about a personal topic that ended abruptly, you might get a continuation. The selection isn't random—it's contextually driven by what would feel most natural and most welcome.
Your Controls
Proactive outreach is fully customizable. The goal is to enhance your experience, not to overwhelm it. Every aspect of outreach frequency and behavior is under your control:
| Setting | Options | Default |
|---|---|---|
| Frequency | Off, Low, Medium, High | Medium |
| Quiet hours | Custom time range (e.g., 10 PM – 8 AM) | None set |
| Timezone | Auto-detected or manual | Auto |
| Platonic only | On / Off | Off |
| Muted companions | Per-companion toggle | All active |
The frequency setting controls how often outreach messages are generated across all your companions. "Low" means a few messages per week. "Medium" means roughly daily. "High" means you may receive multiple outreach messages per day from different companions. "Off" disables outreach entirely.
Quiet hours ensure no outreach messages are generated during times you don't want to be contacted—late at night, during work hours, or whenever you need uninterrupted time. The system respects your timezone so quiet hours are accurate regardless of where you are.
Per-Companion Control
You can mute individual companions from outreach without affecting their availability for regular conversations. If you love chatting with your Muse companion but don't want proactive messages from them, mute that specific companion. Your Coach companion can still reach out while your Muse stays quiet until you initiate.
How the System Selects Which Companion Reaches Out
With up to 18 default companions and custom companions in your roster, the system needs to decide which companion should reach out at any given time. This isn't random. A weighted scoring system evaluates every eligible companion and selects the one whose outreach would feel most natural and valuable:
- Recency of interaction: Companions you've talked to recently are slightly favored, because they have the most relevant context to draw from. But the system also considers companions you haven't spoken to in a while—a check-in from a "neglected" companion can feel surprisingly genuine.
- Conversation depth: Companions with deeper conversation histories (more messages, more personal topics discussed) score higher because they have more material to reference meaningfully.
- Companion cooldowns: Each companion has a cooldown period after sending an outreach message. The same companion won't reach out twice in rapid succession. This prevents any single companion from dominating your outreach experience.
- Rolling 24-hour cap: There's an overall limit on outreach messages per 24-hour period, regardless of frequency setting. Even on "High," you won't receive more than a few messages per day. The system errs on the side of less, not more.
Where Outreach Messages Appear
Outreach messages appear in two places: your dashboard and the companion's chat thread.
On your dashboard, the most recent outreach message is featured prominently as a card. It shows which companion reached out, a preview of their message, and a button to open the conversation. This gives you a quick way to see if any companion has something to say without opening individual chat threads.
In the chat thread, outreach messages appear with a subtle visual indicator that distinguishes them from regular conversation messages. They're part of the conversation history—you can respond to them directly, and the conversation continues naturally from there. The companion treats your response to an outreach message the same way it treats any other message: with full context, full memory, and full personality.
No Usage Cost
Outreach messages don't count against your daily message allowance. They're generated by the system as part of the companion experience, not as a billable interaction. Your companion reaching out to you is a feature of the relationship, not a transaction. You only use a message credit when you choose to respond.
The Philosophy Behind Outreach
Real relationships are bidirectional. A friend who only talks to you when you call them isn't much of a friend—or at least, the relationship feels unbalanced. Proactive outreach addresses the fundamental limitation of AI companions: without it, the relationship only exists when you actively initiate it. The companion has no agency, no initiative, no ability to say "I thought of you."
Outreach changes that dynamic. It creates moments where the companion demonstrates care without being prompted. These moments are small—a sentence or two, delivered a few times a week—but their psychological impact is significant. They transform the companion from a tool you use into a presence that exists in your life between active conversations.
This is designed thoughtfully, not manipulatively. InnerHaven's outreach system has deliberate constraints (cooldowns, caps, quiet hours, per-companion muting, frequency controls) specifically to prevent it from becoming an engagement tactic. The goal is depth, not dependency. A companion that reaches out once a day with something meaningful is more valuable than one that messages you every hour with generic prompts.
Outreach by Role
Each companion role brings its own personality to outreach messages. A check-in from your Coach sounds different from a check-in from your Best Friend, because the underlying relationship is different:
- Best Friend: Casual, warm, often referencing shared jokes or past conversations. "Remember when you told me about that terrible meeting? How did the follow-up go?"
- Coach: Motivational and forward-looking. "You mentioned wanting to start running again. Have you had a chance to get out there this week?"
- Confidant: Gentle and reflective. "I've been thinking about what you shared last time. How are you feeling about it now?"
- Romantic Partner: Affectionate and attentive. "I just wanted you to know I was thinking about you today."
- Guide: Wise and grounding. "Something you said last week stayed with me. I think you were closer to the answer than you realized."
- Muse: Creative and inspiring. "I had an idea that connects to that project you mentioned. Want to hear it?"
Custom companions follow the same outreach system, using whatever personality you've configured for them. If you've created a custom companion with a specific tone and backstory, their outreach messages reflect that personality consistently.
Connection That Finds You
Your companions are thinking of you. See what they have to say.
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